Understanding Autistic Masking from a Neurodivergent-Affirming Perspective
For many Autistic individuals, the experience of masking their Autistic traits is deeply ingrained. Masking refers to the conscious or unconscious effort to suppress, camouflage, or hide Autistic traits in order to fit into neurotypical social contexts. While this can help individuals navigate social situations, long-term masking often comes at a high cost, leading to burnout, identity confusion, and mental health challenges. From a neurodivergent-affirming perspective, understanding and unmasking can be powerful steps toward self-acceptance and well-being.
What Is Autistic Masking?
Autistic masking involves altering behaviors, suppressing natural responses, and imitating neurotypical social norms to avoid standing out or being judged. Common masking behaviors include:
Forcing eye contact despite discomfort.
Mimicking facial expressions and gestures to appear more socially “typical.”
Suppressing stimming (such as fidgeting, rocking, or pacing) even when it is soothing.
Memorizing and rehearsing social scripts rather than engaging in spontaneous conversations.
Hiding sensory sensitivities and enduring discomfort to avoid drawing attention to themselves.
Many Autistic people, especially those diagnosed later in life, may not even realize they are masking because it becomes second nature over time.
Why Do Autistic People Mask?
Masking is often a learned survival mechanism. We live in a society that is designed for neurotypical people, and neurotypical traits are considered “good” and “correct.” Society’s emphasis on neurotypical behavior means that Autistic traits are frequently misunderstood or stigmatized. Many Autistic individuals mask due to:
Social Pressure: To make friends, maintain relationships, or avoid exclusion.
Safety Concerns: To reduce bullying, discrimination, mistreatment, or even violence and death. This is especially true for marginalized people, including BIPOC people, LGBTQ+ people, and genderqueer/trans people. Marginalized Autistic people often do not have the privilege of unmasking due to discrimination and prejudice related to their intersecting identities.
Employment and Professionalism: To meet workplace expectations and avoid career barriers.
Internalized Ableism: To conform to societal norms that Autistic people have internalized and avoid feeling “less than.”
While masking can sometimes provide short-term benefits, such as social acceptance or professional advancement, it often comes at a significant cost.
The Consequences of Long-Term Masking
Many Autistic individuals experience masking-induced burnout, which results from the mental, emotional, and physical exhaustion of constant self-monitoring. Some of the negative effects of prolonged masking include:
Increased Anxiety and Depression: Constantly filtering one’s natural behaviors can lead to chronic stress and emotional distress.
Identity Confusion: Years of masking can make it difficult to understand one’s authentic self.
Delayed or Missed Diagnosis: Many individuals, particularly women and AFAB (assigned female at birth) individuals, are overlooked for autism diagnoses because they mask so effectively.
Social Fatigue: Masking requires significant cognitive effort, leading to exhaustion after social interactions.
Increased Risk of Suicide: Recent studies suggest that Autistic individuals might be five to six times more likely to experience suicidal thoughts and/or behaviors. They are also more likely to die by suicide. Research suggests that the stress and toll of masking likely increases this risk.
Exploring Unmasking
Unmasking is the process of gradually reducing the suppression of Autistic traits and embracing one’s natural ways of being. This does not mean eliminating all masking strategies and behaviors, especially because doing so might not be safe for Autistic people in marganized groups. Instead, it means exploring a balance that prioritizes authenticity and well-being. Unmasking can involve:
Reconnecting with Stimming: Allowing yourself to engage in self-regulatory movements without shame.
Setting Boundaries: Advocating for sensory-friendly environments and communication styles that work for you.
Finding Neurodivergent Community: Connecting with other Autistic people who understand and validate your experiences.
Self-Compassion: Recognizing that masking was a survival strategy and giving yourself grace as you unlearn it.
Unmasking in Safe Spaces First (Or Only). Many people first explore unmasking by themselves or with a safe person, like a partner, family member, or neuroidveristy-affirming therapist. It is important to honor that for some Autistic people, like Black or LGBTQ+ Autistics, masking and unmasking might be the difference between life and death. We should never shame Autistic people into unmasking, especially if doing so might risk violence or harm.
A Neurodivergent-Affirming Approach to Masking and Unmasking
From a neurodivergent-affirming perspective, masking should not be framed as a deceptive strategy but as an adaptive response to a society that often does not accommodate Autistic needs. The ultimate goal would not be to force unmasking but rather to create environments where masking is unnecessary for survival.
Instead of expecting Autistic individuals to change, society should shift toward greater acceptance, accessibility, and inclusion of Autistic people. To achieve this, we need to do the following:
Challenge the stigma around being Autistic.
Promote sensory-friendly workplaces and schools.
Educate others on Autistic communication styles.
Encouraging flexibility in social and professional expectations.
Masking is a complex survival mechanism, but every Autistic person has the right to exist authentically without the pressure to conform to neurotypical expectations. While unmasking is a personal journey, it is also a societal responsibility to create spaces where Autistic individuals feel safe, valued, and accepted as they are.
If you’ve been masking for a long time, know that your Autistic traits are valid, and you deserve to exist without exhaustion. You are enough exactly as you are.